T3T

Usually, I don't like to write about arguments and quarrels I had... Because it's not a happy memory, I just want to delete it from my brain and move on remembering the happy memories... But this one, I must remember it always and forever, because it's a lesson for me to learn, that I must never ever repeat the very same mistakes ever again in my life...

Darling and I were happily smsing each other yesterday... until he said something about going to flirt... Being an emotional, easy-to-switch-on-the-wrong-switch, unreasonable, 'small-gas' little girl, I got flared up even if he told me the real truth that it's just a joke. And that's where all hell broke lose... I was thinking, 'Okay~ You think its funny huh!? I'll show you what's funny...' So I fired at him through sms... And he got the wrong idea... I didn't mean that I don't like him going out meeting his friends or whatever. I just got my emotions into me again... At that very moment, I really realize the meaning 'Disaster comes out from the mouth'... I felt very regret...

I know he really won't go out to flirt, not only because I trust him, it's because he proved to me. But I just got overwhelmed by the feeling that I want to overpower him back so I yelled. And it was a very very wrong move... Gosh, my ego is one big pain in the butt... I am super EGOISTIC! Ego, ego, ego, it's always my pride and my ego... and my damn stupid emotions... How I wish I can put these down and be a truly perfect girl that he sees me as...

Even though he put all the blame on himself... Even though he don't wanna admit that it's my fault to begin with... In truth, the problem starts from me... A big sticky note to self for once and for all... "NEVER LET EGO AND PRIDE GET IN BETWEEN US ANYMORE"...

How egoistic I can be? I'll tell you how... Sometimes, I get a very ticked off when people tried to teach me something I don't know. Yes, my pride ate me up and I lose my rationality to it... I'm still finding ways to get over it... Maybe I need a psychologist... Yes, I'm serious...

He hasn't talked to me for the whole day. Even though I sent a single sms to him, he still replied me coldly... I guess he hasn't finished getting mad over the whole incident and over me (even if he doesn't admit he is)... I felt very bad since last night till now... I wonder what is he doing... Sulking is definitely... But... I really miss him a lot... He once said I can leave him be and he'll find me back after he felt alright... But waiting is difficult... I don't dare to bother him... But I really miss him...

I'm so sorry...