さようなら, 2009

31st December 2009... The very last day for this year...

Let's do a summary of part of my life in this year...

With a nervous and excited heart, I transferred from Inti Nilai, to UCSI. Still studying nutrition, but with a fresh start. I went there alone, without knowing anyone. Mom was there to help me with my accomodation and part of my school matters. But I had very bad homesickness after she went back. I felt like crying because I don't know if I can handle things on my own. No friends, no one that I knew of. It's just me with heavy shoulders. But I'm lucky enough to know a bunch of nice new friends and I will never forget them. I'm lucky enough to have really helpful seniors who lend me a hand even though I didn't asked for help. I thanked God for that... Studying in UCSI is sometimes a challenge. But even though it's a hectic school life, I enjoy it very much. I enjoy having my work pile up and me working my butt off... Funny huh? I use to be very lazy... I have very nice housemates too and they made my life even more fun... ^^

And so... I finally have the courage to let someone step into my life. Problems do arise but we'll take it down for sure. It's just a matter of protecting the ones we treasure a lot that's all. I'm glad I did. I'm getting used to it now. But sometimes I'm not used to sharing some of my problems, and I'm sorry about it. It's not that I don't trust people, it's just sometimes I think I'm really pathetic to ask for help because of my stupidity. Anyhow, I learnt a lot... (And you'll regret that you're ever born to this world if you ever hurt my feelings... ^u^)

I'm half-ly back to cosplaying, but not active. Mom's forbidding my to cosplay. I'm not sure whether I should put more effort and try to balance it with my studies, or it's just gonna be a part-time hobby, but it's still fun like September's Anicom. Anyway, I'll do my best to have fun.

Went to Singapore for the first time and it's really beautiful. Although we didn't shop much but there's still a lot to see. And I'm back to the beach. I love the beach. Window shopping is fun too and even though it's tiring and its way over the budget, we still enjoyed it.

2010 is only a few hours away now. The 1st decade of the 21st century. I don't have any plans to go out for countdown to welcome the new year. Just staying at home with my family having steamboat is nice and warming enough.

I pray that 2010 is a better year for those who struggled so hard during 2009. May everyone stay in tip-top good health everyday, those who study can get good results, those who're working can get promotion or raise, friendship forever to my best friends out there, good luck to everybody and most important thing, stay happy always.

Steamboat with family~

Thinking too much

One reason that I fell into a breakdown the other day...

is that I'm having my holidays, and nothing else is occupying my mind...

That's right...

and my imagination went so high up...

Well, some imaginations CAN be reality...

I hope I don't get those after my semester starts...

And I won't be having my own room to cry either...

I just hope everything will be alright...

Sucks

Sucks not to have my own room to myself...

I can't even cry alone without people knowing...

I can only cry during midnight...

When all the people were asleep...

And I'm the only one awake...

Crying silently until I fell asleep...

It really sucks...

Christmas Eve

Today's Christmas Eve... *starts singing 'All I want for Christmas is you'*

=3= Evelyn has her date... =3= =3= =3= =3=.... *pouts*

Going to church tonight...

I don't think I'll be receiving Christmas presents from Mom this year... I have no idea what I want... The one I want can't be found in here...

Well... I'll be posting some pictures that I didn't really mention last posts...


The cats think that my backyard is their cafeteria/hang-out spot/hotel... =A=


Dad and Gray... Drinking together... Nah, Gray don't drink XD


LG KS360, given by Ah Mei E-ma, bought from UK... But it's now Mom's...


One of Gray's puppies, Coco@Brownie... Yes, Grandma renamed him Brownie...


He was tensed at first, but gradually ok... He doesn't remember his birthplace... ^^


My son! Milo, I don't want you anymore... XD Nah, just kidding... I miss that little furry mutt too...


Green octopus and blue sheep... Made from felt cloth...


Piranha Plant from Super Mario Bros., made by my sis...


Shiba Inu... I followed the book to make it...


Another Green Octopus...


Green Smarties!!!! XD... No... It's not... It's my Chinese medicine... Yes, I'm serious...


My dearest Ms. White aka Grady... Lost a lot of fur... =A=... But still cute as ever... ^^

Winter Festival

Today's winter festival... Yep, we get to eat Tang Yuans~ And I get to make weird shapes again. XD I made an army of Mokonas last time. XD

Woke up in the morning and got to know that Rayray hurt her hand because of a fragile glass door, from what I hear... =A= My god... I hope she's ok... She's going to Singapore for Christmas, can't risk accidents... Then, went down to make Tang Yuans... Made a Mokona, a few Rabites... Mushrooms... a Cheep Cheep... =A=... Plop them all into the syrup and there goes my Rabite's tail floating up. XD

Went to Nostalgia for tea with my old classmates again, Hui Lin, Haw Ge, Mei Yan and Ah Di. Talked about where we're studying and planned to go out shopping in KL. Mm, might be calling them out for shopping in Sungei Wang for Chinese New Years... SHOPPING!!!!!!! XD

Went back to home around 6, ate my Tang Yuan and get ready to go to E-ma's house. =A= I hate the smoke there... Makes my eyes teary and my nose wet... At least nothing much happen there. I sometimes really hate to meet Uncle Nga Zai...

Well, after the dinner, we went to Grandma's place. I finally saw another Gray's puppy, BearBear! But Grandma renamed him Blackie. XD She always name the dogs according to their color. I wonder what will she name it if the dog's having patches for pattern... Like beagles...? White-Brownie? =A=... BearBear@Blackie was tied at the backyard because he's too naughty. Well, he's still a puppy... I hope he helps keep Grandma company, and don't cause too much trouble like a certain son of a certain 囧爸... Met up with all my cousins... Come to think of it, almost all of my cousins are boys... =A=... I'm the third youngest in my generation?... Right, forget about it, none of your business... Anyway, watched a little part of the movie '2012' and then eat Aunty Jenny's chocolate Tang Yuan. Yummy ^^

Winter festival came so soon, it's almost a year now... Time flies so fast that it kinda hard to catch up...

And here are my Tang Yuans~ XD There's a Mokona, Rabite, Mushroom and Cheep Cheep...


A closer look at the Cheep Cheep... Drying up, need water...

Lunch in Olive

Today, I went to Olive Restaurant for lunch with my bunch of old friends, Hui Lin, V V and Ah Di... Supposingly we asked Chiu Yen, Mei Yen, Ah Pat, and our birthday boy 侯哥. Chiu Yen and Mei Yen weren't free, Ah Pat was sick. Even 侯哥 was sick too... So it's just the 4 of us. Everyone was still full from breakfast so we had dessert for lunch XD... Mocha and Tiramisu~

Catching up with everybody and it brought back a lot of old times. Hui Lin is going to UTAR next year. V V is studying chemical engineering in UPM. Ah Di is undergoing teacher's training in our old high school. Then we started talking about loads of stuff. Uni life, working life... Hui Lin worked as a substitute teacher in her old primary school, Hing Hwa. She told us about kids nowadays. XD Hoho, Primary 6 students, started dating, holding hands in school, hug and even kissed. XD My gosh, kids nowadays... What were we doing during Primary 6? I was crazy over mangas, Fushigi Yuugi, Inuyasha... And then UPSR, writing in friend's diarys for memories, wondering what is it like to go to secondary school... Same old phrase... Kids nowadays... Bad influence from idol dramas...

We talked a lot, about our old teachers, how we went through our senior years... We struggled for SPM that year but we still have happy times. Like going to Maths tuition and we gossiped throughout the whole 2 hours without doing our work, working hard to score in exams, extra activities, hanging out with friends... And we get to drive during that year so it's a lot easier to go out and have tea. XD Lots of things has changed... Like our high school's library turned public and opened till 9pm, ISM is offering evening courses and Diploma in IT... But somethings never change... Like our Biology teacher Mr. Lim, still says "呃，今天老师胸口不舒服，你们自修" XD

Hui Lin's going to UTAR, V V is going to KL and stay there permanently, her family's moving there. Well, if she ever go to her sister's place in Old Klang, maybe I can ask her out for a little chit-chat. Ah Di's going to be an IT teacher in our old school... Me... I wonder how am I going to be? Can I really make it to Queensland?

It's really nice to meet them back and talk again... Well, looking forward to meet them again in KL ^^

Aaa, just got a message from our No.1 Haw Ge, tea on Tuesday afternoon either in 'Nostalgia' or 'Green Forest'... ^^

Went to Tawau Yatch Club Gym with Mom and Sis for a short workout session... Feels nice to run on the threadmil, but it'll be better if I'm really running...


Sis and Mom... Took it without them noticing...


Sundeck... Use to fish there with Dad and have breakfast while enjoying the sea wind...


View of Sundeck from the gym...

Yamato Nadeshiko

Before I start, guess where am I?

I'm in a nearby cafe/restaurant named 'Nostalgia'... in Chinese, '旧街'... Well... it's kind of the pirated 'Old Town' Cafe... XD... 2 minutes drive from my house, neat huh? ^^ (But the food sucks)

Now to the real topic...

I've always look up the the traditional Japanese ideal women... The Yamato Nadeshiko...
Not because of the Japanese culture...

"Also known as an ideal Japanese woman, it revolves around acting for the benefit of the family and following instructions or acting in the best interest of patriarchal authority figures. Virtues include: loyalty, domestic ability, wisdom, and humility.

During World War II, the idea of Yamato Nadeshiko was influenced by war-time propaganda. A Yamato Nadeshiko should be able to endure all the pain and poverty of life for her husband (a soldier) and the country, and should always be ready to fight with naginata or tae yari and to be ready to die at any time, for her country or to keep her chastity. However, as opposed to being a particularly feminine characteristic, gyokusai, or to give up life for the war, was a duty expected from all who wished themselves to be considered a Japanese citizen."

They're beautiful, graceful and elegant but still strong and reliable... I wish I can be like one... But I don't need to fight with a naginata or tae yari right? Well... my husband's not a soldier so... I don't need to fight right? XD

But I'm ready to protect whatever that's dear to me...

Invaders!

Invaders in my room!!

Nah, its just my cousins James and Evelyn... They're renovating their house so they're crashing at my place... Kinda awkward though because it's been a long time since I last saw them. James was in Bukit Jalil all along. If it wasn't for my Java, I wouldn't have the chance to talk to him... Evelyn just came back from UK, graduated as an architect... T_T I wanna graduate too...

All my stuff are in my room, seems so hard to go in and take it. I might be disturbing one of them sleeping. Or maybe... Gor gor is changing in the room and then I knocked and went in and... Nothing happen... = =" Can't online often coz the pc's in my room, and they've conquered my room... You get the point... I meant... Gor is using it to find info for their renovation... Then Jie Jie might be sleeping... Not nice to disturb them......

But it's MY ROOM!!! =3=.... Not fair... *stomps feet*

1 week...

Meek... I'm back... and it's already one week... Was typing an entry but 'plop'... Electricity got cut off again... How romantic ^^... = ="

Went out with Mom to Sabindo Plaza and have a look at the book exhibition to find some handicraft books, but found another book instead... "你是公主" XD, muhahaha~

It says...
"所有女人都痛恨男人的前女友,就怕这些被回忆美化的前女友,会变成男人最美好的背后灵;即使男人和前女友从来不相往来,女人仍旧会怀疑,男人的心里头有个角落被前女友占据着.

女人都希望男人的心思全在自己身上,绝不希望那个背后灵来当莫名的竞争者.就算你采取焦土政策,把他前女友的每一张照片,每一封情书通通都烧掉,也杀不掉回忆里的假想敌.

很多女人莫名其妙就想摸清楚男人的底细,就像调查员一样,把前女友们的照片通通都从衣櫃翻出来,连他小学喜欢的女生也要通通问清楚.结果搞的自己心神耗弱,觉得一下子四面楚歌,到处都是想跟自己竞争的女人."

Girls think too much... XD Yes, we're like that... But it's just for the sake of keeping the one she loves.

As for the short passage I extracted from the book... Yes, I wanted to know... But if I know, I'll feel uncomfortable, so I chose not to know forever. Wouldn't it be better to stay happy rather than pulling out all those old stuff out and get sad and all emo over what's already happened?
(Hehe, I have my own ways to deal with you... You better watch your back... ^^ *evil mode*)

Yep, enough of the book. Bought a new dress~ Will wear to airport on Jan ^^... Went to see doctor with Mom. Doctor says I'm heaty... No fried stuff for the time being... (But he didn't say no chocolates right? Hehe) Then went to eat ice in 普照寺 with Mom...

What to do tomorrow? Continue vomit blood on my DS with 'Children of Mana'... Mm... Oh shit... IELTS!! ><

Okaeri...

Yep... I'm back to my sweet little hometown, Tawau, Sabah...

Yesterday was kinda hectic...
Went to Titiwangsa for 1st in Malaysia but it's already close. Nevermind, there's always a next chance, and there's always something new coming up. ^^
Went back home to pack my stuff...
Went to buy Dad and Sis's stuff...
Went to Swenson's for lunch...
And off I went to the airport... I'm almost the last one to check-in...
Lol, it seems so hard to leave... But I'll be back ^^
If I don't get quarantined by yours truly the Grand Empress... Lol, just kidding~

Reached home and *chi chi cha cha* non-stop talking with my family. Handed them their gifts too. 2 shirts for Dad... He's grown fat like an uncle already XD... Chili Gui Fei meat for Mom, and she's like Dad... Gained weight already... Famous Amos for Sis... And nothing for Gray XD Sorry my dear, but you just don't know how to appreciate what we bought for you so... It'll be enough with me coming back to stay with you~ Muhahahaha~ She looked like she shrunked but grown taller... (What the heck am I talking about?) Could be because of her fur shedding...

Woke up around 10am in the morning today and I still feel sleepy... Played Children of Mana (Dudbears!!! XD) for a while... My god, the game is so difficult... = =... Then it ran out of battery... Maybe going to change my spec frame this afternoon with Mom... GAH! Milo!!! It's all your fault! But nevermind... I get an excuse to change the frames... XP

I wonder how are you guys doing in KL... Missed the night view in KL XD... and my busy life in the university... After the holidays, I gotta toughen up and keep a clear mind... Last semester next year January...

Now... Since there's nothing on Facebook and MSN... Join Dad watching 'Born Rich' and drinking beer~ XD Nah, just Shandy for me...

A lot of people are getting married this month... Tomorrow going for another one of my cousin's wedding... Dad said "Dress prettily and go show off tomorrow"... XDDDDD Wahaha, Dad, you better be proud you have such a beautiful daughter. *bricked*

我。。。

朋友说我变了，自从谈恋爱过后，变得消极，变得不认真。。。
曾经和她提过，如果我进不了澳洲的大学，我不想继续读书了。。。
可是她竟然回我 “你的梦想不是要成为一个营养师吗？你怎么可以放弃你的梦想？”
我真正的梦想。。。早已经在几年前放弃了。。。

我。。。再过多两天，就要回到我那小小的家乡－斗湖了。。。
对它又爱又恨。。。爱因为家人，朋友和美好的回忆都在那里。。。
恨，因为我总嫌它很常停电，停水，没有地方可以好好逛街。。。
现在又多加一个理由来恨它了。。。
它离西马太远，隔了一个海。。。离他们好远。。。离他好远。。。
这整个月。。。不知道要怎么渡过呢。。。
虽然是过着像大小姐般的生活，在家什么都不用做，只是陪家人喝喝茶。。。
可是总会思念着。。。
那种感觉。。。不好受。。。

昨天，跟家里的囧儿Ｍｉｌｏ说了几句。。。
“Ｍｉｌｏ，你这只跟你老爸一样笨笨的囧狗，我暂时不能像这样每天陪你了，在家里要乖乖得，不要恶作剧，不要弄脏家里，Ｄａｄｄｙ和奶妈工作回来已经很累了，不要给他们添不必要的麻烦，知道吗？”
Ｍｉｌｏ只是眨了一下他那大大的眼睛看着我。。。
不知道他听不听得懂呢。。。

不知道家里的白小姐Ｇｒａｄｙ怎么样了。。。

What the *beep*

You've gotta be *beep*ing kidding me...

They know each other?!?!?!?!!?!??!!?

*dies*

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me?? Wro-o-ong with me?! Yes, something's very wrong with me. I had very very weird temper these few days. I got angry all of a sudden... And I don't know what I'm pissed about... And then I couldn't sleep that 1 night... And I cried for no reason in the middle of the night. Gosh, I have a psychological disorder don't I? 1 minute I'm all laughing and joking, the next minute I get all flared up and emo. I think my bipolar mood disorder is getting worse... Or I hope all these are just PMS... Damn hormones... I'm sorry for making you felt bad and guilty... (But that's one of my hobbies ;P)

I've been scared of being lonely nowadays. And I thought I'm not afraid of being alone. I thought I'm used to being alone. Since young when Mom went out to work and sent my sis to my aunt's place, I've been in the house all by myself. Then, growing up, I learned to enjoy the solitude by myself, enjoying the freedom. But when I come here... I started to get scared again... Milo helped a little but I'm still alone... Gosh... I really have to grow up. I'm 21 for God's sake...

Next semester is the last semester in Malaysia for me. And if all goes well, I'm going to Australia, Queensland. I'm gonna miss everyone a lot. I wonder will I be able to cope with everything there. Anyway, I'll make the best out of my last semester here.

Going back to Tawau in 4 days time. I do miss home sometimes, but I know I'm gonna miss KL bad when I go back home. I missed the white lady at home, who broke her thumb while trying to show off she can catch a mouse. xD I missed my piano. I missed my room. Wondering whether should I curl my hair or cut it shorter or just leave it be. *sigh* I love my hair... *bricked*

Spending Christmas and New Years back in my sweet home. Oh, maybe attending Ellen's wedding dinner on the 20th. Can dress up again~ XD (I wondered why didn't I go study cosmetics instead and just graduate in a simple way?)I can't believe my friend of my age get married so early. I wondered how my wedding will be? XD It should be modern and creative, with my dogs (and maybe cats) to accompany me down the aisle! XD Ok, enough dreaming...

It's another windy day today... Don't catch cold everyone... Stay healthy and happy always... Muackz~ Muackz~ Muackz~